Reflections of retired Gen. James Amos on our national day to remember

Memorial Day is more than just a long holiday weekend. In the Novant Health family, there is perhaps no one better suited to explain its resonance and significance than Gen. James Amos, USMC, Ret.

Amos joined the Novant Health board of trustees in 2018, after an impressive 42-year military career. He served as the 35th commandant of the Marines and oversaw units at every rank from lieutenant colonel to general. He reset the Corps’ combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, shepherding the beginning of a force reduction from 241,000 Marines to 221,000. And he introduced Marine leadership to industry best practices regarding diversity and talent management.

Now, as we head into this important weekend, we’ve asked him to share what it means for our military and our community.

Many Americans confuse Veterans Day and Memorial Day. Could you please explain why Memorial Day is sacred to active military men and women, to our veterans and to their loved ones? 

You bet I can. Memorial Day was established for Americans to take pause once a year and to remember the many sacrifices of men and women who have worn our nation’s cloth and have fought our nation’s battles over the past 244 years. As the word “memorial” tells us, it’s a day for remembering and honoring those who sacrificed their lives in battle and service.

It was first widely observed on May 30, 1868, to commemorate the sacrifices of Civil War soldiers. In the Civil War, an unimaginable 620,000 soldiers were killed, a death toll massive enough to force the creation of national cemeteries. The holiday used to be called Decoration Day because many people would spend the day placing decorations and flags on the graves of fallen soldiers.

On June 28, 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved four holidays, including Memorial Day, from their traditional dates to a specified Monday to create a convenient three-day weekend. The change moved Memorial Day from its traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May.

Many people visit cemeteries and memorials on Memorial Day to honor and mourn those who died in military service. Many volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.

Veterans Day, on the other hand, has a different history. On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, was declared between the Allied nations and Germany in the First World War, then known as “the Great War.” Commemorated as Armistice Day beginning the following year, Nov. 11 became a legal federal holiday in the United States in 1938. In the aftermath of World War II and the Korean War, Armistice Day became Veterans Day, a holiday dedicated to American veterans of war.

Could you share why you feel Memorial Day should have greater importance to our nation?

I’m kind of a softie at heart. My wife of almost 50 years calls me a mush-pot because I get choked up at most of our national holidays. But Memorial Day has a special meaning for me as it causes me to remember specific names — names of men and women I have personally served with who rest now under those white marble crosses in our military cemeteries. I’ve now buried two of my three closest friends in life, all three being fellow Marines. We entered the Marine Corps at the same time and grew up flying together over decades. Their lives, as well as their family’s lives, come to mind on Memorial Day.

And of course, the countless memorial services I’ve attended over the years, particularly since 9/11 and our combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, come to mind every Memorial Day. As I’ve grown older, many of the names have begun to fade, but the circumstances of their loss have never left me.

It’s simply our sacred duty as fellow Americans to take pause on Memorial Day.

You led Marines in multiple worldwide conflicts. Who are some of the patriots you remember on Memorial Day?

I remember well the CH-46 helicopter crew we lost on the opening night of Operation Iraqi Freedom. They crashed at 2 in the morning in the middle of a huge sandstorm, along with a squad of British Royal Marine Commandos that they were inserting behind enemy lines.

I remember taking the call in my command center at midnight about the loss of one of my attack helicopters just outside of Baghdad.

Then there was the CH-46 helicopter that went down in the Euphrates River, just south of ancient Babylon with all hands lost.

I well remember the Marines I lost on a convoy who were attacked just outside Fallujah, Iraq, in 2004.

Years later, I remember the Marines I lost at the battle of Sangin, Afghanistan, one of the deadliest of our time. I remember attending the memorial services back home in Southern California for many of them, while standing by their families and loved ones.

The list is pretty long. My hope is that I don’t ever forget them as I get older. I want to remember as many of them as I can.

On 9/11, your office was destroyed by American Airlines flight 77 when it struck the Pentagon. Can you tell us how that affected you?

This was a defining time in my life. What happened on 9/11 has shaped my approach to many things since that day.

Just months before, I had moved into a newly renovated portion of the E-ring of the Pentagon. My office was on the fourth deck, overlooking the Pentagon helo pad and Arlington Cemetery. I was a young one-star [general] at the time, working as the deputy head of Marine Aviation. I was away from the building when American Airlines flight 77 was hijacked and deliberately flown into my side of the Pentagon at 9:37 a.m., killing all 64 people onboard, including the five hijackers and the six air crew. In total, 184 people were killed that day at the Pentagon.

Just 35 minutes before, the airplane had taken off from Dulles and was loaded with jet fuel when it flew into the bottom three floors of the Pentagon. The impact and explosion were so severe that it drove what was left of the plane through the E and D rings, finally stopping at the C ring. My office was three windows just to the left of the point of impact. The top area and roof of the Pentagon burned for five days before the fire department was able to put out the flames.

Our entire country was in mourning. You remember it. None of us could believe that it had happened to us on our own soil.

Here is some of the irony, though:All partisan politics were set aside. Think about that. Partisans became patriots. Everybody flew American flags from the homes, their offices, on their cars. You couldn’t drive under an overpass on the interstate that wasn’t covered in American flags. We became a single body of people. We were all Americans, and we knew we’d come out of this and would see better days.

And you know what? We did, and we have. So while it was truly what I call “the worst of times,” it also became the best of times. Our nation came together. Like the Bible says, “We were in one accord.”

Marines have a proud history of leadership. What are some leadership lessons that all Americans can apply during this worldwide pandemic?

Great question. We need to remember who we are as a country and remember our history. We are overcomers. It’s time to be positive.

Never doubt that we will figure this COVID-19 matter out. While it’s a tough nut to crack, never doubt our ability to crack it.

When you think of all that our nation has been through in its 244 years, we have to believe in ourselves. We can do this.

Focus on what’s important, not the fear of the unknown. Do what’s right in taking care of your health and the health of your loved ones.

Lastly, if you have the wherewithal to help in any way, then do it. It can be financially or materially — just do it.

As our country suffers the loss of more than 90,000 Americans from COVID-19, what message would you like to share with “team aubergine” at Novant Health?

You know, Americans have always applied the term “hero” and “heroes” to our military, our police and our firefighters. I think that we’re seeing a whole new generation of heroes emerge out of the COVID-19 fight. You can’t look at national news in the evening or read the newspapers or scan the internet without reading about our healthcare workers — all of them, from doctors and nurses and physician assistants, to the team members who clean the rooms and ensure that all is sanitary.

This generation of healthcare workers has discovered its true grit. They’ve faced the impossible head on. They’ve stared down death and have overcome. While it’s been terrible, I predict that these men and women will rise from all that they’ve seen and experienced as more dedicated professionals. They have all been tried in the crucible of life and death, and they are stronger for it.

These ladies and gentlemen — selfless in all that they are now required to do — are today’s real heroes.

While the political climate in Washington now remains as partisan as I have ever seen it, we are seeing the goodness of our country begin to shine. Folks are coming forward to help in any way they can. Industry and the scientific communities are as energized as I’ve seen in decades. We’re going to get through this, and we’ll do it as an American people.

And similar to the tragedy of 9/11, while these are clearly the worst of times, I would argue that, in many ways, they will be viewed in hindsight as the best of times because the will and strength of the American people will have defeated the COVID-19 virus.

We are overcomers!

After the most difficult day of their lives, this family is on a mission to support Novant Health Hemby Children’s Hospital

His name was Luke, but more often than not, his family didn’t call him that. The 1-year-old boy with the infectious smile and joyful personality was better known as “sweet baby Luke.”

“We would call him that because he was so wonderful and sweet all the time. He loved people and dogs and playing with his brother. He was an absolute joy,” said Arliss Day, Luke’s mother and store manager of the Kendra Scott jewelry store in SouthPark Mall.

Then, one day in December of 2019, Luke had to be rushed to the emergency room at Novant Health Mint Hill Medical Center. One moment, he had been laughing and dancing; the next, Day and her family were watching Luke fight for his life.

“He was happy and healthy,” Day said. “As we anxiously waited in the ER to figure out what was going on, we had no idea we would later be saying goodbye to Luke.”

The medical team admitted him immediately, working feverishly to determine what was causing Luke’s rapid and devastating decline.

“He passed away in my arms, and they revived him,” Day said. “The entire emergency room team was at the door with us. They were doing everything in their power to help us, but nobody knew what was wrong.”

Soon, the family was transferred by ambulance to Novant Health Hemby Children’s Hospital Emergency Department, where they met Dr. Emily Nazarian and the team of medical professionals that would be there with them through the most difficult day of their lives.

“We knew they truly loved Luke. They asked what he liked to do, what his personality was, and we appreciated that they never gave us false hope,” Day said. “They were very upfront with what was happening, but they delivered it in such a sincere way and they were there for us as much as possible.”

The doctors were eventually able to pinpoint what was happening to Luke: He had volvulus, a twisting of the intestines more common and treatable in newborns. It is rare in children Luke’s age, and four hours after he was rushed to the ER, it took his life.

“We never had to leave Luke’s side. I was able to stand over the hospital crib and hold his hand and kiss his head. They could have easily sent me out to the waiting room, but they never did. They let me continue to love on him,” Day said.

The past few months have been hard, to say the least, but Day has found bright spots. Kendra Scott gave her three months off after Luke passed away, and she threw a fundraiser to help cover some of the family’s expenses. Day and her husband have a 3-year-old son named Adam, and as he adjusts to his new reality, he has taken to making LEGO creations to leave next to Luke’s grave every time the family visits.

• 

• 

• 

The family is also turning its energy toward giving back. Day and her husband , Kelvin, have started the Luke Day Foundation to help other families who lose a child unexpectedly. And they want to continue to honor and recognize the staff at Hemby Children’s Hospital.

That work began in January. Day was eager to show her support and gratitude to Dr. Navarian and all the nurses who had cared for Luke and her family, so she worked with her team at Kendra Scott to orchestrate a delivery of lunches and jewelry, giving each team member in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) a piece from the Kendra Scott collection.

“It was a bittersweet day. I didn’t know if I would make it through the doors of the PICU,” Day said. “When we showed up, we saw so many familiar faces. They told us this wasn’t necessary, and we said, ‘Yes, this isn’t even enough.’”

Kendra Scott has since made Hemby Children’s Hospital part of the Kendra Cares program, which brings the company’s signature Color Bar to pediatric hospitals to allow patients and families to design their own complimentary pieces of jewelry. And, in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, Day is planning a return trip to the hospital to deliver lunch and Kendra Scott face masks during Nursing Team Member Week.

“I think about them a lot. I pray. They’re the true heroes in it all, and I know it’s not easy for them. They all have families of their own, as well. Being able to balance that, it’s really hard, and they are put into such difficult situations. My heart has gone out to them. You worry about them,” she said.

Day has also been working with Kendra Scott’s nonprofit partners to orchestrate other events to benefit the team at Presbyterian Medical Center. Typically, the Kendra Scott location in SouthPark Mall hosts five philanthropic events per week. With the pandemic, those events have all been canceled, but Day has been working with organizers to take them from in-person to virtual and to have the proceeds benefit front-line healthcare workers.

“We have a lot of things in the works, and hopefully we can gear it all toward the Novant Health Presbyterian Medical Center Foundation and have a big give after all of this,” Day said. “The team at Hemby made the most horrible situation that anyone could possibly go through bearable for me and my family. They’re there for a reason. We look back, and we look at Novant Health, and we’re just thankful.”